Hard day and worth every second

In describing my experience at the store this morning I said, "I had to pinch her to make her cry, because crying in pain was better than having her do what she was doing before." Yup. It's true. First Miana refused to sit in the cart and with 2 other kids in the cart, I allowed her to walk. She did fine for the first 2 aisles where she stood on the front of the cart. Then she decided to actually walk (or rather run). She started climbing on boxes (it was shelf restocking day) and I told her that if she ran off again or climbed on anything, she would have to ride in the cart. We went to the next aisle and there was big dolly/cart thing that had a couple boxes on it, she ran to it and climbed on. I picked her up and put her in the cart and she immediately started screaming. Finally, she started yelling actual words. "I can't sit down, it doesn't fit for me!" Fit for me is her way of saying she doesn't fit somewhere or something doesn't fit her. Anyway, I cleared a space for her and showed her how to sit down in it, she refused and stood there screaming for 2 more aisles. Then she yelled, "it's falling on me, it's all falling on me!" for the next 3-4 aisles. She then got angry and pushed all of the food into a big pile in the cart with the salad and bananas at the bottom and sat down on top of them. We went to check out and she was still yelling and screaming and whining. I sat her down and the cart and pinched her leg so that she would stop. She sat down and quietly cried and rubbed her leg. I didn't really hurt her, I barely even pinched, it was just enough to get her to stop yelling. I finally got out of the store just to have Miana yell and scream in the parking lot and cry all of the way home - why? Because her shoe fell off. Yes, her shoe fell off so we should yell and scream for 10 minutes. I got home, put her shoe back on because she wouldn't get out of the car with it off. The next 5 minutes went like this: I took Tayla into the house, opened the back of the van, Tayla came out of the house and was running down the driveway, I chased her, put her back in the house, tried to give a bag of groceries to Miana who dropped them on the ground yelling, "it's too heavy!", then I chased Tayla down the driveway again, put her back in the house (at this point we still have not gotten any groceries into the house), I then gave a bag to Carter who started into the house but couldn't get past Miana who was just standing in front of the stairs to the house, I then took the last 6 bags of groceries out, loaded them on my arms, and told her to move, Carter then pushed past her and although he didn't hurt her or knock her down, she fell to the ground crying and wouldn't move, I about dropped the groceries, went out of the garage and through the front of the house so that I could get inside and get the first of the groceries in. I still don't know if all of the bags ever made it into the house. I went out to the garage and shut the door so Miana could only come into the house or stay there. When she saw that I wasn't going to get her, she stopped crying and simply walked into the house. All of this was made worse by the fact that Dave is in Cincinnatti so I knew I wouldn't get any help at all. I was done being a parent by 10am. At 11am my mom stopped by, she couldn't stay long but just having another adult made it so I could make it to nap time and feel like I could be a good mom again. It was a long day, but as hard as it felt at the time, it ended with my oldest child leaving the house for a few minutes and saying, "Don't worry, Mom. I will be back soon to hug you!" He is a good boy and really helps me make it through the tough times! Miana and I are once again friends. I have gotten over the morning stress and moved on. I love my kids and hate when it all feels too hard to handle. I'm grateful for little moments that make everything better!!!