I had a really bad night. I just couldn't sleep. I woke up at 3:15am and then had to go to the bathroom. I found that we were out of toilet paper in our bathroom so downstairs I went. By the time I finished I was wide awake. I could not sleep. The last time I looked at the clock it was 5am, but I think it took me another good 1/2 hour to fall asleep. My 1 child who obsesses about weather came in at 6 and got in bed with me. He kicked, tossed, and turned. Finally, at 6:30, it was time for me to get out of bed. He declared that he couldn't go to school today because there was a horrible thunder storm outside. I never did see any sign of lightning and thunder, just moderate rain and some wind. I drove the boys to school, got some breakfast and started my day. Dave took Miana to school. Tayla and I stayed home so she could see the speech therapist.

Fast forward to 10am. Therapy done, I'm ready to shop. In an effort to be more frugal, I have started clipping coupons. I have dreams of one day being able to spend less than $20/week on groceries. Other people do it, why can't I?? So, we subscribed to the Sunday only newspaper and got our coupons for the first time yesterday. I dutifully clipped coupons and looked over the ads. I identified which stores I was going to shop in, I made a game plan, wrote my shopping list on 2 envelops (one for each store), and put the coupons into each envelop. I was ready! Tayla and I were off by 10:20 and went to the first store. This particular store has a loyalty rewards card that offers different deals each week that not only save you money, but give you money back towards your next purchase. They had many Buy One Get One (BOGO) free or 1/2 off today. Some deals were BOGO and then you also got some money back towards a next purchase. I also had several manufacturer and store coupons to use. I strategically broke my list into 2 parts, putting all of the stuff that gave me money towards a future order into my first list/order and all the rest of the items in the next order/list. Last night, only a few of the items had a price listed in the insert, so I had to guess on prices. I guessed that the items I wanted would add up to around $40-50 in the first order and give me $19 back towards the next order. The second order seemed to be between $20-25 or so, but I could use the $19 towards that order, so I should only pay around $1-6 total for the second order. The problem was that I was wrong on many of the prices. My first total was around $100 (after my $25 savings in deals and coupons). I also got $22 back in money towards the 2nd order. I was starting to feel sick. We were at our weekly budget for groceries and I still had a 2nd order to go and the regular grocery store after that. The 2nd order was impressive, but I over spent on that one too. It was an impressive order, but I still spent too much! I spent $25, had $35 savings from deals and coupons and then I spent the $22 from the money back.

I then picked up Miana from school. Tayla had already been shopping with me for the last hour and was DONE. Miana was all over the place. We went to the grocery store, also armed with coupons and deals. The girls were good and entertained in the car-cart for the first 10 minutes. I did try to go fast, but trying to find the exact products that were on sale or that I had a coupon for was exhausting and time consuming. What happened next about sent me over the edge...

First of all, despite the fact grocery stores have carts that look like cars, offer free cookies in the bakery, check-out lanes that are tabloid and candy free, and offer free lollypops at customer service desk - grocery stores are not ACTUALLY child-friendly. If they were child-friendly (or rather adult-with-child-friendly) they would offer free juice boxes laced with valium at every entrance and provide carts that look like cars that are surrounded in sound-proof glass with doors that actually lock from the outside. With that said, picture my 2 little girls, fighting, yelling, clawing at each other and both trying to escape from different openings from the car cart. I hear, "Mom, Tayla just bit me on my nose. KISS me on my nose!" After a quick kiss on the nose, we went about half an aisle down and an older man jokingly says, in a very loud voice, while ramming my cart, "oh no, watch out! Women drivers!" He then chuckles to himself, tries to get my girls to smile at him while he continues, "I had one of THEM (referencing women drivers with disdain) cut me off on the beltway this morning, I was in an Expedition, didn't she know that I could crush her? I yelled, 'what? do you want me to park in your backseat?" Interesting story... did you not notice that I am... a woman?? After being mildly offended, I tried smiling and nodding as I helped him find the product he was looking for to get him on is way. I then checked my daughters over for any injuries they may have sustained from their little "collision." We finished up our shopping, seeing this man several more times and me finding it harder and harder to smile every time I passed him.

On to the checkout lane. I got in a lane that only had 1 person ahead of me and they were close to being finished. The lane was very narrow, so I had to stand in front of my cart to get the stuff out. Tayla climbed out of the cart, I put her in the child seat at the back of the cart, she climbed down onto the food and starting jumping on it, meanwhile, Miana climbed out of the cart started climbing on top of the car part of it. I finally got them under control by putting them in the now empty basket part of the cart. I got behind the cart to push it through the lane. I then had to dive onto the cart to reach over and grab my 2 year old who was getting ready to slide head first down the roof of the car. I'm not very tall so to reach her, I literally had to put part of my body on the cart. As I'm stretching over to get her, my 4 year old begins to climb out of the cart. I grab her with the other hand and I sit, in suspended animation, for what seems like an eternity, holding my baby with the right hand over top of the cart, and holding my 4 yr. old up with my left hand off the side of the cart. I finally get them both in the cart. In a desperate act to keep their attention, I hand Miana their coats and say, "I need you to stay here and watch these coats." She stops moving for the first time in the last 30 min. and stares at me. "Why? They don't have legs!" I was too tired to find the humor that was there, but she's right, the coats weren't going anywhere.

I finished the order, gave the checker the coupons and my rewards card. She scanned the card, handed it back to me and scanned the coupons. I went to put the card away, and asked, "you got this, right?" She glanced at the screen and nodded. I put it away, paid for my food and she handed me the receipt. "Wait a minute, it doesn't look like I got your card!" Apparently, it hadn't scanned, but some of the food showed up as discounted anyway. I then had to take my 2 girls to customer service desk to have the amount credited to my card (they are doing a gas rewards program) and wait for her to process my $16 in additional savings that I was due which she had to pay me in cash. At this point the girls are screaming, fighting, scratching, etc. and the lady offers them a free lollypop when we're all done with the transaction. - Thanks, lady, for rewarding their bad behavior and giving them sticking candy before getting in the car on our way home for lunch.

Long story short - I'm not cut out for couponing and my husband will be happy to know that although I will continue to look for manufacturer coupons in the Sunday paper and peruse the inserts for the best deals that fit our family, I will only buy food we are eating that week anyway and we are NOT going to 2 different stores anymore. It was too expensive, too long, and too exhausting.