My thoughts on being a stay at home mom

I was recently visiting this website and thought that her opening comments echoed my own thoughts. Then, I began thinking about what exactly ARE my thoughts about motherhood and staying at home. I am disappointed when people immediately look down on me because I don't have a job. Apparently, you can't have respect in our society without a career (or a job at McDonalds, both get better responses than being a stay at home mom). I have a job, in fact, I have several. All of them more important that working at McDonalds AND than having a high-income job. The difference is that I don't get paid. A year ago December, I was talking to 2 women who worked at the elementary school. One was expecting her first grandchild and the other her first child. I, too, was expecting - our 4th. The turned to the topic of when the one was going to come back from maternity leave. She said it would be the 3 months offered by the school. I smiled and said, "unless you take one look at that sweet baby and decide you can't ever leave his side, you may never come back." She turned and in a tone that I will never forget but can not be portrayed properly in writing said, "I would never do THAT." The tone was filled with disdain, as if she was saying, "why would I ever lower myself to do THAT kind of thing." I felt attacked, even a little embarrassed and completely not sure what to say. Without trying to sound hurt, I simply said, "Well, I can't imagine letting anyone else see my children take their first steps, say their first words, or any of the other magical moments in their lives." The older one then said, "Oh, well, we working moms tell the babysitters not to tell us when they do those things, just to let us discover it for ourselves so we think it's the first time." Conversation was over and I left feeling a little lost, even a bit defeated. I'm right here, I know I am, so why am I the one that feels bad or wrong? It's the same with everything else in our society, it's backwards (that's another long topic altogether). Well, I'm tired of feeling old fashioned and being told that somehow I'm inferior because I choose to take care of my own children and don't get paid for it. I'm not out to be the most spectacular homemaker in the world (like Stacy) or my kids' coach for every sport on the planet (likeLauren) or a fantastic gourmet cook (like Alexia) or a SuperMom (like Anne) or a perfect house keeper (like just about ALL the other moms I know). My kids will likely have fond memories of me being stressed out because our house was too messy, them not being able to find clothes because the clean ones were piled high on the couch, not yet folded and put away, and that dinner consisted of veggie pasta with cheese dumped on it quickly. They will likely have lots of memories of me at the computer, sending emails, doing church assignments, and checking facebook :) . I know they will remember me getting angry and yelling at them to the point that I have to put myself in time out. I know that their memories won't always be fond ones, but they will ALL have me in them. I will be here when they leave for school, I will be here when they get back. My kids will not always have a clean house but they will always know that I love them. Which brings me to my jobs. What is a mother for? My job is to make sure that I produce moral productive members of society. There's no advanced training, other than a briefing in the hospital of how to keep the baby alive and clean. In my case, I have received on the job training which has included how to take apart and put back together just about everything in the house and I believe I can now withstand any sort of torture known to mankind. I have learned a great many useful things such as: no home should be without duct tape and spackle, no one in their right mind should ever buy Sharpies or crayons, any important document can become scratch paper in a matter of seconds, some things are REALLY easy to flush down the toilet, other things aren't so easy to flush, and most of all, that life just isn't fair, but it is fairly just. Why do I choose to stay home with my kids? Because it's the right thing to do, and because I get paid in hugs and kisses - who can beat that?